For Those Who Care

I am a woman
I matter because I am
I am not your daughter
I hurt because I can

They said to fight fire with fire
So that's what I did
I cut out my heart
So the pain could not spread

I am wounded by memories that once brought me bliss
Like daggers in my back, l, Caesar, you, Brutus
They pin me to a past that I can no longer see
So that I'm always looking back, but it's just out of reach
And I know I should be trying to extricate the blades
But the pain is somehow bracing, a reminder of a price unpaid
I am an empire on the brink of dissolution, by civil war now split
You are the force that tore me asunder, and the thread by which I'm feebly knit

But I can’t fancy any sin worth punishment of this magnitude

could not hate you
For I’d loved you too long
So I hated myself
And whatever I had done wrong
And that’s the true evil
Of the sin you committed
The self-incrimination that infects
Indirectly sexually transmitted
It eats from within
Until there is little left without

I promise to fill your empty lines

With letters and lexemes and sagas worth sharing

For you are the paper and I'll be your ink

You’re killing me and you’re the only way I feel alive

like sweet sunlight you’re there comforting me

I’m not your usual victims

Walk in someone else’s shoes

Before you ever judge another