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Erin Coughlin Hollowell

Every Atom

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  • anahat Zitat gemachtvor 2 Jahren
    We are built for breaking. We know this
    and yet still more babies are born
    with their soft skulls and hunger.
    What word can stop a bullet?
  • anahat Zitat gemachtvor 2 Jahren
    Nor any more heaven or hell than there is now
  • anahat Zitat gemachtvor 2 Jahren
    It is an equation without solution,
    this endless subtraction. Nota pit. Not
    a vacuum. What do you call a vessel
    that is broken, and the pieces scattered?
  • anahat Zitat gemachtvor 2 Jahren
    Swallowing cold river stones, one
    by one, until they click and slick
    together in the hollow of my body.
    I think by now I must be thick

    with it, this fear, but no, it whittles.
  • anahat Zitat gemachtvor 2 Jahren
    Then we dreamt we had forgiven our-
    selves. Car wrecks and divorces. Shiny
    bridesmaid dresses. Filched cigarettes.

    Then we began to draw maps to outlying
    cities. We made friend with wolves and
    long-distance truckers. Our hair grew long.

    Then there was the hour we just watched
    the sun elbow its way across the hospital floor.
    Shadows began to finally mean something.
  • anahat Zitat gemachtvor 2 Jahren
    Then even though we closed our eyes
    we could still see how disappointment
    had become a church we helped you build.

    Then there were all those ways to keep
    sacrificing. Over sixty thousand miles
    of blood vessels to empty, to pack with ice.

    Then we learned to hide. We made a tree-
    house of our wish to be birds that did not
    eat on the ground beneath the feeder.

    Then we forgot. We became nostalgic
    for open windows and summer curtains.
    Dinners of cottage cheese with canned peaches.
  • anahat Zitat gemachtvor 2 Jahren
    First they taught us how
    to put on our white

    gloves. How to scrub each
    night to keep them clean.

    Never mind that I
    was six and that boys

    just twelve years older
    died every day in

    the jungle. Rotted
    where they fell. We learned

    to diaper babies,
    to pin away from

    the child’s skin and
    toward our own. How

    to curtsy and sit,
    ankles crossed, our hands

    like sleeping birds in
    our laps. Each dinner,

    the television
    detonated with

    gunfire from helicopters.
    Mother had me set

    the dinner table.
    I had been trained which

    direction the knife
    blade should face. I knew

    how to use a shrimp
    fork. I could iron

    anything smooth. I
    was a child, but I

    knew that white gloves
    and party manners were

    best, because when I
    was silent, clean, and

    neat, my mother
    would love me.
  • anahat Zitat gemachtvor 2 Jahren
    Do not say dogs. Do
    not disagree. Do not
    say it is beautiful outside.
    Not next month,
    not on Sunday. Do not
    say I am sorry.

    Put down the phone.
    The ramparts smolder,
    small pebbles cascading
    from the wreck. What
    could words still mean
    in such fractured remains?
  • anahat Zitat gemachtvor 2 Jahren
    Sleep is a fading constellation.

    Three stars:

    a king, a shadow queen,

    a child who is lost on purpose.
  • anahat Zitat gemachtvor 2 Jahren
    Mother, look out
    the window so

    when weather
    is the topic,

    you have
    an answer. No

    answer. Let us
    pretend I’ve called

    and we spoke
    about my hair

    or my torn jeans.
    Or anything

    you used to carry
    on about. I still

    carry your voice
    deep in me, like

    a small animal
    with sharp teeth

    sleeping uneasily.
    Let us not

    wake it. Let us
    be content to be

    disconnected.
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