Just for the Summer

If you can choose anger or empathy, always choose empathy.

you can choose anger or empathy, always choose empathy.

It isn’t glamorous, it isn’t all butterflies and stars in your eyes. It’s real. This is the kind of love that forever is made of. Because if it’s this good when life is draining and mundane and hard, think of how wonderful it will be when the love songs are playing and the moon is out.

“What are you thinking?” I asked.

He didn’t answer for a long moment. When he did, he did it with his eyes closed. “All I ever think about is you.”

My heart pounded.

He opened his eyes. “What are we doing, Emma?”

Time stopped. Or I did. Reality smeared.

He put a gentle hand out to touch me. A thumb rubbed against my cheek to mirror the one I had on his.

“If this isn’t magic, then what is?” he asked. “What does it feel like to be under a spell if this isn’t it?”

“What do you think she’ll be like?” she whispered, after a moment.

“Who?” I said gently, holding her to my chest.

“The girl you’ll meet after me. Your soulmate.”

My heart shattered into a million pieces.

If you had asked me yesterday, I would have said it was her. Instead she’d end up being the one who got away. Not a soulmate, just the love of my life.

And unfortunately they’re not the same thing.

A year ago I would have been mad at her for leaving. It was black and white back then. To me, love meant you stayed. But now I understood that love sometimes means you let someone go

Only love hurts this way. And the way that her pain hurt me was love too.

It’s all the same emotion, just different levels. I’d lived on the low, safe side of everything.

You can love someone and still not be willing to give up your way of life for them. And then there are those you love who you’d take a bullet for.

“I didn’t want to beg you,” he said. “But I don’t give a shit about my pride anymore. Stay. Please. Just to see what happens. See where it goes. I’ll take anything—a couple of months, a couple of weeks, whatever you’ll give me. Meet me where I am because I can’t go to you. I would if I could. I’d follow you anywhere if I was able to, but I can’t. Please,” he said again. “Stay.