War Storm (Red Queen)

I am less than his crown, and he is less than my cause.

He loved the crown before he loved me, whether he knows it or not.

“Love can be exploited, I guess, used to manipulate. It’s leverage. But I would never call loving someone else a weakness. I think living without love at all, any kind of love, is weakness. And the worst kind of darkness.”

“Of course I miss him.”

I mean Cal. I mean Shade. I mean Maven, even in the smallest of pieces.

There’s still a gap between us, a rift. Even in death, Maven is good at keeping us apart. Cal will never admit it, but I saw the resentment in his eyes that day. The sorrow and accusation. I killed his brother, and that weighs on him still. I know it weighs on me.

“Let me figure out who I am now.”

Not Mareena, not the lightning girl. Not even Mare Barrow. But whoever came out on the other side of all this.

maybe we were wrong. Maybe he could have been saved somehow. The thought cuts me apart, and the first tear falls.

We both knew this would happen. We both knew Maven was beyond our help. It doesn’t stop the pain, though.

I killed a murderer, a torturer. An evil person, twisted and broken. A man who would have killed me if I hadn’t stopped him. Killed everyone I love. A boy, made into a monster. A boy with no chance and no hope.

“I’m sorry.” He goes watery before me as tears rise in my eyes. I killed his brother. I took him away.