I Love You And I'm Leaving You Anyway

And then I start crying. I can see so perfectly, out here on the open road, what I’ve really believed about myself all my life—that I’m less than other people, that there’s something wrong with me, that I’ll always be left, and that I’ll never be loved—I can see it for what it is, that it’s not the truth, that it was never true, and now that I can see it, it never will be true again. Never

I’d rather not be doing what I’m doing, then why am I doing it?

I already know the answer: because I can’t stop.

I really don’t want that to be the answer

didn’t have orgasms because I was frigid. It was that I was refusing. Refusing to let go. Refusing to let a man have an effect on me. Refusing to be vulnerable. Refusing to be with someone completely. Refusing to lose control.