Mindful Listening

Hopefully you can see that the issue was simply that they were unprepared.

listeners do not receive the same level of praise, attention, instruction, or credibility as speakers. They should!

common to see poor listening skills blamed on narcissism or a lack of consideration for the other person. While this may indeed be the

empathy is not a silver bullet for everything—not every problem can be solved by the addition of more empathy! Specifically, offer empathy and compassion only when the other person wants it and it’s appropriate for the situation. Too many people, in their personal need to come across as kind and caring, will override another person’s valid desire to not share their emotions. Alternatively, empathic listening may simply be inappropriate in the workplace or with a more superficial acquaintance.

Focus Actively. Cease other activities, maintain eye contact, and nod affirmatively. Actively engage by refraining from distractions, signaling your attentive presence.
2. Express Positivity. Utilize affirmative body language—position toward the speaker, nod, and vocalize agreement. Convey positive engagement through nonverbal cues.
3. Reflect Understanding. Practice reflective listening. Summarize or paraphrase key points to show understanding and strengthen the connection with the speaker

It may seem obvious, but even the most attentive and empathetic person is going to struggle to listen to you if they’re being mauled by a lion or haven’t eaten in two weeks. What might it look like to not be physically ready to listen?

• Being too hungry, tired, grumpy, inebriated, hot, cold, uncomfortable, or ill to pay proper attention
• Being stressed, rushed, or busy with something else
• Being too emotionally aggravated to be fully present—e.g., overly angry, sad, or scared

Physical preparedness may simply come down to making sure that the chair is comfortable, nobody is thirsty, and you’re not attempting a conversation at 11 p.m. when everyone is fatigued and unable to manage a full-blown discussion about something important.

In our attention-depleted but individualistic culture, people are programmed to believe that listening is something you begrudgingly do for the sake of the other person, but also to earn your right to snatch back the limelight and continue to do the more interesting part—getting them to listen to you.

takes notes, and evaluates the

We may encounter good advice that may genuinely help us communicate better, but ignore it

how to flirt, and how to be charming, persuasive, and articulate,