The Willpower Instinct: How Self-Control Works, Why It Matters, and What You Can Do To Get More of It

Even the best-controlled feel a kind of exhaustion at keeping it all together and wonder if life is supposed to be such a struggle.

Studies show that the effects of sleep deprivation on your brain are equivalent to being mildly intoxicated—a state that many of us can attest does little for self-control.

you could do something a lot simpler and less painful: meditate. Neuroscientists have discovered that when you ask the brain to meditate, it gets better not just at meditating, but at a wide range of self-control skills, including attention, focus, stress management, impulse control, and self-awareness.

Many temporary states—like being drunk, sleep-deprived, or even just distracted—inhibit the prefrontal cortex, mimicking the brain damage that Gage sustained. This leaves us less able to control our impulses, even though our gray matter is still safe in our skulls.

Schelling believed that to reach our goals, we must limit our options. He called this precommitment.

should be especially wary of shunning people who do not control their behavior in the way we would like. Besides being a pretty cruel way to treat people, it is a lousy strategy for motivating change. A

should be especially wary of shunning people who do not control their behavior in the way we would like. Besides being a pretty cruel way to treat people, it is a lousy strategy for motivating change.

GOD WANTS YOU TO LOSE WEIGHT

Can you convince people to exercise and eat more fruits and vegetables by telling them it’s what God wants? An intervention at Middle Tennessee State University is doing exactly that, with excellent results. The intervention asks people to consider how self-care and health are important values in their religion. For example, Christians may be asked to reflect on passages from the Bible such as “Do not join those who drink too much wine or gorge themselves on meat” (Proverbs 23:20 NIV) and “Let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God” (2 Corinthians 7:1 NIV). They are asked to reflect on the behaviors in their own lives—such as eating junk food or not exercising—that are inconsistent with their professed faith and values. When they identify a disconnect between their faith and their actions, they are encouraged to create an action plan for changing that behavior. Believing that losing weight and exercising is what good Christians do is powerful social proof—far more motivating than getting a stern warning from a doctor after getting bad results on a cholesterol test.

Mark Ansel, the psychologist who developed this approach, argues that religious communities should take on more responsibility for supporting behavior change. Places of worship could offer fitness classes and nutrition talks alongside religious services, and social events should serve healthier food. He points out that for this approach to work, religious leaders will have to be good role models. Before they start preaching morning walks, they need to get in shape themselves—and just like they wouldn’t be caught in a brothel, they’ll need to think twice about stepping into the local McDonald’s. After all, social proof requires proof.

You remember willpower—the ability to do what really matters, even when it’s difficult

Willpower is about harnessing the three powers of I will, I won’t, and I want to help you achieve your goals