Solitaire

don’t think my mum likes me very much.

When you watch a film, you’re sort of an outsider looking in. With a book—you’re right there. You are inside. You are the main character.

I am coming extremely close to slitting my wrists with my scissors and it’s only 10:45 a.m.

Sometimes I hate people. This is probably very bad for my mental health.

Gray is the theme, which is fitting for such a dull place.

Tori,” says Becky, “you look a little bit like you want to kill yourself.

You like to act as if you care about nothing, and if you carry on like that, then you’re going to drown in the abyss you have imagined for yourself.”

and I imagine a voice reminding me to be funny and chatty and happy, like normal people

Sometimes I like to fill my days with little things that other people don’t care about. It makes me feel like I’m doing something important, mainly because no one else is doing it.

If I’m completely honest, I don’t even like music that much. I just like individual songs. I find one song that I really love, and then I listen to it about twenty billion times until I hate it and have ruined it for myself.