How to Win Friends and Influence People

A movement for adult education has been sweeping over the nation; and the most spectacular force in that movement was Dale Carnegie, a man who listened to and critiqued more talks by adults than has any other man in captivity. According to a cartoon by ‘Believe-It-or-Not’ Ripley, he had criticised 150,000 speeches

The way to develop self-confidence, he said, is to do the thing you fear to do and get a record of successful experiences behind you. So he forced each class member to talk at every session of the course. The audience is sympathetic. They are all in the same boat; and, by constant practice, they develop a courage, confidence and enthusiasm that carry over into their private speaking

So he was forced to be swift and practical. Consequently, he developed a system of training that is unique – a striking combination of public speaking, salesmanship, human relations and applied psychology

PRINCIPLE 9

Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest

The effective leader should keep the following guidelines in mind when it is necessary to change attitudes or behaviour:

1 Be sincere. Do not promise anything that you cannot deliver. Forget about the benefits to yourself and concentrate on the benefits to the other person.

2 Know exactly what it is you want the other person to do.

3. Be empathetic. Ask yourself what is it the other person really wants.

4 Consider the benefits that person will receive from doing what you suggest.

5 Match those benefits to the other person’s wants.

6. When you make your request, put it in a form that will convey to the other person the idea that he personally will benefit

IN A NUTSHELL

BE A LEADER

A leader’s job often includes changing your people’s attitudes and behaviour. Some suggestions to accomplish this:

PRINCIPLE 1

Begin with praise and honest appreciation.

PRINCIPLE 2

Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.

PRINCIPLE 3

Talk about your own mistakes before criticising the other person.

PRINCIPLE 4

Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.

PRINCIPLE 5

Let the other person save face.

PRINCIPLE 6

Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be ‘hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.’

PRINCIPLE 7

Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.

PRINCIPLE 8

Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.

PRINCIPLE 9

Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.

PRINCIPLE 8

Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct

PRINCIPLE 7

Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to

Abilities wither under criticism; they blossom under encouragement

PRINCIPLE 6

Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be ‘hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise