He whispers to me
TUBE RODENT. I have an enormous penis.
FLEABAG. I say: really? He says
TUBE RODENT. Yeah.
FLEABAG. I say: well that’s lucky, because I have an enormous vagina. He says
TUBE RODENT (confused). Awesome.
FLEABAG. We fuck behind the counter. He’s very bony. All corners. It’s like having sex with a protractor. He doesn’t come. He says I’m being too intense, whatever that means.
We turned the lights off and it’s quite dark now. He’s pulling on his trousers, looking for his phone to see if his friends are going out tonight. He’s wearing this pink-and-purpley paisley scarf. He looks like a lady.
He hops over to the window and leans on the sill. He turns his phone on and he screams. Really high-pitched. The light from the phone made Hilary’s eyes flash red in the darkness. She must have wandered over to the window while we were having sex.