Paul Bloom: Learn to Embrace Suffering, Live A Life of Meaning and Find Purpose In Your Life

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Most of us believe that a good way to arrange our lives is by minimizing suffering for ourselves and for those around us.

In his latest book, Paul Bloom lays out an argument that human beings aren’t exactly wired that way - and that this may actually be a good thing.

Human beings will often choose their own suffering (even extreme forms of it) in order to gain everything from control over our environment to visceral pleasure.

In today’s conversation, Paul and Tom dive deep into the evolutionary underpinnings of chosen suffering, the biological roots of human morality, the relationship between sex and religion, how to live a meaningful life, and much more!

You can learn more about many of the topics covered in today’s conversation in Paul’s new book, The Sweet Spot: The Pleasures of Suffering and the Search for Meaning.

Order here: https://amzn.to/3y6LEni />

SHOW NOTES:
00:00 | Introduction - Paul Bloom
06:54 | Darwinism and Control Over Pain & Pleasure
13:24 | Meditation & Getting Outside of Yourself
24:30 | Mastery and Self-Control
28:38 | Against Empathy
30:29 | Meaning and Purpose
41:12 | Developing the Skill of Willpower
48:54 | Calibrating our Self-Esteem to the World Around Us
58:19 | Emotions, Depression, and Neurochemistry
1:09:58 | Nature, Nurture, and Morality
1:18:59 | Morality and Sexual Behavior


QUOTES:
“I think we have a family of motivations. It includes happiness, which as you point out, can mean different things. It includes pleasure, it includes meaning (whatever that is), it includes morality, maybe it includes beauty, it includes truth. …and a good life is sort of trying to maximize and balance them as best as possible.” [03:50]

“What it is to be a good person, for you and me, differs from what it would have been to be a good person 500 years ago, because we know more stuff now.” [08:17]

“We're often in our heads, and it's uncomfortable. We're thinking about the future, we're mulling over the past, we're very conscious of our bodies, we're conscious of how we look, we're conscious of this voice in our heads, and sometimes sharp and sudden pain can bring us out of it.” [11:35]

“Natural selection did not evolve us to have a good time. It evolved us to survive and reproduce… some degree of buzzing in your head is actually important. Not fun, but important.” [15:35]

“Life isn't the kind of thing that has an intrinsic meaning. People can choose activities that are meaningful, because they meet certain criteria - some objective criteria - but [it’s] also subjective. What might be meaningful for you might not be for me, and vice versa.” [37:36]

“An old-time shrink would say, “Oh, my God, you got to learn to love yourself.” But...