Andy Weir

A few minutes pass, then I hear it again.

“Hello!” Ilyukhina lunged forward and hugged Stratt. “I’m here to die for Earth! Pretty awesome, yes?!”
I leaned to Dimitri. “Are all Russians crazy?”
“Yes,” he said with a smile. “It is the only way to be Russian and happy at the same time.”
“That’s…dark.”
“That’s Russian!”

It’s like falling asleep. You can’t really do it if you concentrate on it too hard.

No?” I ask

“No,” he says in Eridian.

“So, ‘yes’?”

“No, yes.”

“Yes?”

“No. No.”

“Yes, yes?”

“No!” He balls a fist at me, clearly frustrated.

“Computer! Painkillers!”

“Additional dose available in three hours and four minutes.”

I frown. “Computer: What is the current time?”

“Seven-fifteen p.m., Moscow Standard Time.”

“Computer: Set time to eleven p.m. Moscow Standard Time.”

“Clock set complete.”

“Computer: painkillers.”

The arms hand me a package of pills and a bag of water.

“No?” I ask
“No,” he says in Eridian.
“So, ‘yes’?”
“No, yes.”
“Yes?”
“No. No.”
“Yes, yes?”
“No!” He balls a fist at me, clearly frustrated

“Fist-bump!”
“What, question?”

“Be careful,” says Rocky. “You are friend now.”
“Thanks,” I say. “You are friend also.”
“Thank.”

“You’re my friend. Heck, you’re my best friend. And pretty soon we’re going to say goodbye forever.”

We are team. We fix this. No be sad.